回到自己 Returning to Myself

小時候常常被說想像力豐富，
長大後常常被嫌總是想太多，
出社會後，
行銷企劃是個對我來說很合適的工作，
因為可以安放無止盡的思考與各個環節的細節。

現在這顆腦袋依舊是一顆可以無限展開與感受，
（雖然我不知道是不是每個人都是這樣）
但這其實很困擾我，
尤其是當我把注意力都放在外在世界裡，
很容易變得很內耗，
我不能說它是缺陷還是天賦，
或許也不需要糾結如何停止它，
或許是看放在什麼地方使用它。

我心裡有一個直覺在說，
學會如何切割，
什麼是純粹的感受、什麼時候是投射、什麼時候是激起這副人設的情緒與框架，
什麼時候又可以放任它。

這過程其實不是很舒服，
我也還在努力學著回到自己，
保持外在世界簡單，
內在精神世界精彩但不內耗。

As a child, I was often told that I had a vivid imagination.
As I grew older, I was often criticized for thinking too much.

After entering the working world,
marketing and creative planning turned out to be a job that suited me well—
because it gave a place for my endless thoughts
and all the details between each step.

Even now, this mind of mine is still capable of expanding endlessly,
of sensing and feeling so much
(although I don’t know if everyone is like this).

But this can also be quite exhausting.
Especially when I place all my attention on the outside world,
it’s very easy to become trapped in my own thoughts
and slowly drain myself.

I can’t say whether this is a flaw or a gift.
Maybe I don’t need to keep struggling with how to stop it.
Maybe what matters is where I choose to place it.

There is a quiet intuition inside me that says
I need to learn how to separate things—

what is pure feeling,
when I am projecting,
when an emotion or a framework is being stirred up by the identity I’ve built for myself,
and when I can simply let it unfold.

This process isn’t particularly comfortable.
I’m still learning how to return to myself.

To keep the outer world simple,
while allowing my inner world to remain vivid and expansive—
without letting it consume me.